I keep getting the urge to just leave and vanish for a while. Take my last pay check and disappear to…someplace, Arizona or New Orleans most likely. Not forever but for a long enough time that I can just be rid of all the random baggage I truly don’t want. Only problem with the just up and leaving is that my friends would hunt me down and skin me alive and quite possibly make a rug from my hide. Beyond this I think I would miss Danny to much. It really seems that in the last few weeks he truly has been my saving grace when it comes to keeping what little sanity I truly have left. I’ve done this once before mind you but at the time I didn’t have quite so many friends here. Actually…I didn’t have any here just yet. It was two years after I moved here and I hadn’t really gotten to know anyone all that well. So not feeling like remaining trapped in my apartment I packed my bags and went to Illinois for about a month. It was fun and all but it did what it was meant to do, clear me of the stagnation that had settled in my heart and soul. When I returned too Indy it felt like a fresh start in familiar territory. Arizona sounds good honestly and I don’t think it would be too hard for me to find some means of living if not shabbily for at least a short while. We shall see what happens in the near future but rest assured if I do go anywhere a note will be left in as many places as I can think of to leave one before I leave so everyone can know where to find me.
Beyond the wonder lust I have a bit of a heavy heart. Not for any one true reason however there are many small things that factor into my somber mood. Really I think it’s just that I am ready for something more then what I have. I know all to well that there are some much needed changes that need to be made in my life. I just need the motivation to make them. I desperately want to find a job that doesn’t completely suck ass and get my drivers license and my GED and all that stuff. I want to get them…its just the drive to get them really isn’t there. Trust me if I knew a place or object or what have you that could give me the drive I would be first in line. Anyway I am going to end this rather long ramble and go see if I can find something more stimulating to occupy my mind.